surgery

Are the pills affecting my mind?

Anyone else ever felt like painkillers were making you drowsy, unable to think properly, make you forget stuff?

Actually I am not sure if it’s the painkillers or the pain itself. I’ve felt like this both in January after my first surgery and now after my second one too.

It is like the pain takes a big chunk of my brain and dedicates that part to pain. And what’s left to think and work for the rest of me is not enough to function like I usually do.
It is a very strange feeling for me. I am not feeling like myself, I keep forgetting stuff I normally wouldn’t, and I am not thinking the way I usually would. It’s just a swarm of stuff going on inside me.
On the upside, it also makes me worry less about stuff I normally would worry a lot about. I simply cant’ fit it all into my mind. That’s how it feels anyway.

Maybe I should just enjoy it for as long as it lasts.
(Got an appointment with the hospital tomorrow so hopefully they can help me get well faster)

Advertisements

In pain – but I’m back!

“I’m baaack!” (which voice did you hear it in in your head?)

I’ve been taking a break from my computer since Friday (Wednesday today) due to my tooth removal surgery that same day. I’ve been in so much pain it’s not at all funny. The funny thing however is that I’ve been looking like.. well, terrible. My left cheek and part of chin swollen to double size – it sort of looked like I had a golf ball inside the left part of my mouth. Just.. worse.

As I said I’ve been in a lot of pain. I still am. But at least it’s going towards a bigger cause and there’s a meaning behind the pain. Plus.. it’s a healing pain. It’s getting better now, not worse.

The swelling has gone way down, and even though I still look far from normal it’s very nice to be closer than I was during the weekend. The pain is also going down, although only a bit and very slowly. But I’m handling it.

I have been at my parents’ place since Saturday and now just got back to my own place. I’m well enough now that I can actually walk to get groceries and eat a tiny bit of food that’s not liquid. I do admit I kinda wanted to stay with my parents and brother for a bit longer, but I have stuff here I that needs me and I did also miss my own bed a little bit.

I’m hoping for a fast recovery but this is worse than the first time – and back then I was in pain for at least two weeks. It’s not looking too good. BUT – progress is key!

Looking for comfort

I’m in so much pain today – and was last night too. I had my tooth removal surgery yesterday and even though I had it before and knew what to expect it’s worse this time. My cheek is swollen even more already and it will get worse today and tomorrow before it should finally slowly go down again.

My mum is picking me up very soon. That’s right. I, 26 years old, need my mum to pick me up and take me home to give me cuddles and look after me. I’m not ashamed. Who doesn’t want their family in times of pain?

My family is my safety net and they’re my most important support. I love them and I’m so thankful I have them, both in times of pain and over all in life.

(Please God, let me keep them forever)

Surgery done!

As nervous as I was about my economy presentation yesterday (Terrified but still doing it! and Presentation with anxiety – did it!), I was just as nervous today about my surgery for removing my wisdom tooth. I had one done in January and now it was time for the next and thankfully last.

It was hard. And very painful now that it’s done. But at least it’s done now. I wont have to repeat it and hopefully the painkillers will work their magic on me well.

It’s been 6 hours since it now and I’m only a little swollen. It will get much worse the next two days, but for now I’m just happy. It hurts, a lot. But I can deal with it so far. I’m just happy that I’m on the other side of these two stressful days and now can focus on the future and whatever I want to!

Of course.. as soon as the pain goes away I mean.

What I’m working on

The way my mind works, I feel like my focus is split in groups of stuff that takes up lots of space in my mind:

  • Getting more exercise
  • Eating healthier (and the right amount)
  • To be more social
  • Work on my mental health
  • Fixing my teeth (surgery and stuff)

It seems I can only focus on two at the same time. Right now, and for the last month my focus has been to get more exercise and to be more social. And I’ve been doing a good job at both. That being said, every time I try to focus on one of the other groups I fail miserably. Right now I can feel my focus moving from getting exercise to my teeth. It makes sense, cause my surgery is on Friday.

I think it actually makes sense that two of these is enough to occupy my mind, but it still annoys me. Cause the world doesn’t just stand still in order for me to get my act together on all of these. It goes on! And I’m only going slow. It feels like a failure sometimes. Thankfully, at other times I’m able to focus on the victories I get instead – and those are the best times.

I guess I should just be patient with myself and allow that I can’t do it all at once. Nobody can. And then accept that I choose what I focus on for now, and then actually try to make some of those a habit so that it’ll take less energy and maybe that way I’ll be able to excel in more areas. Let’s hope so!

Surgery on Friday

I’m nervous. There. I said it. I admitted it to myself.

I’ve gone through it before, and it is truly not a big surgery at all. They’re operating my last wisdom tooth out. In January I had my first surgery and one taken out, so I’ve been through it all before. Sadly, that is what is making me nervous.

I know how much it hurts afterwards. I know how swollen it gets and how the pain affects me.
I’m nervous about that. How it’ll work into my every day life this time. I can’t go to the gym the first few weeks after, I’m not allowed at first but the most important reason is simply that it hurts too much. It hurt every time I walked the first week, so I’ll most likely be staying home for a good amount of time, it makes me nervous that I might feel both in pain and depressed about the situation.

At least I’m prepared for it. Maybe I’ll ask people to come here, or I’ll have planned stuff that will be able to keep me entertained. I’ll work it out. Just felt the need to say it. I’m nervous.