roommate

Appreciate peace!

How’s it the saying goes, you only realise how much you want it after it’s gone?

Eight days ago my roommate moved out, and since then there’s been no piece and quiet. The couple that own the place have been here ever since. Working away on what I don’t even know. Well, part of it. They’ve spent time cleaning and changed a few cupboards, which I admit is nice. Over-all, they’ve just been here. Doing stuff. And then my new roommate moved in yesterday. So there’s been a lot of hammering and talking, discussions and all in all, just disturbing the peace that I usually feel in my home.

It’s normally really quiet, and appreciate that. but after this week of disturbance I really miss it!

People moving around in the apartment makes me tense all over. I don’t know what they’re gonna do, if they’re doing stuff that will concern me or if they will knock on my door.

Living with a roommate I’ve learned to relax while hearing the normal noises from that, the stove going, the toilet being flushed and stuff like that. But this, boxes being unpacked and furniture being moved, it stresses me out.

I can’t seem to relax like this. But there’s hope. I think roomie will take a few days to settle in, but then I believe the piece and quiet will settle over the apartment again, and I’ll be able to relax and calm down properly again.

Advertisements

The hardship of anxiety on everyday basis (and venting!)

When you don’t feel like seeing any people at all – how are you gonna function then, when you have a roommate and she has her boyfriend over all the time? Suddenly things like going to the bathroom, cooking or even just going to get a drink becomes work and something you postpone and try to avoid.

I wrote “you” in the text above, but really it should be an “I”. Cause living with a roommate and especially her boyfriend has been, and is still, hard for me.

It is of the very real and tough parts of dealing with social anxiety and depression that isn’t something I can just avoid.

Honestly, this blogpost is partly to show a side of how it is to live with anxiety and depression for me, but maybe mostly it’s my need to vent about this to someone, without being held accountable too much, cause at this point I don’t want to do anything. Roommate is moving out soon and what happens after that, I’ll just deal with as we go.

Venting goes on.. Her boyfriend is over way too much. It really feels as if I live with both of them. I try avoiding them, cause I really can’t deal with it. It bothers me that he is around all the time. It bothers me that he seems so comfortable here, walking around in his boxers, cooking in the kitchen while she watches tv in her room – and most of all, that he is here when she isn’t!

I don’t trust him. I don’t know him. Don’t even know her, we’re “just” roomies, not friends. But she’s signed a contract. Pays to live here. I don’t know. I trust her like that. But not him. If he wanted he could go in my room while I was gone and steal. He could come in while I am asleep and do stuff. Or steal my rent money when it’s waiting to be picked up by the lady from upstairs. He could do all that – and then just leave and not return. I doubt that he will. Honestly, he seems fine and all but still.

He takes up so much time in the kitchen, spends hours cooking, either alone or with my roommate. And then leaves it at complete mess.

And they spend hours in the bathroom – sometimes they both shower twice a day – and seriously, when you’re living with someone don’t take an hour in the bathroom between 9 and 11 pm!! Most likely it’s also around that time that the other person (in this case me) will want to go in and brush their teeth and stuff like that before bed. It’s beyond annoying. And also don’t use my towel after I’ve told you not to.

Maybe also remember to clean the counter after cooking. And the stove and oven. And swipe the floor after showering.

… Can anyone tell that I’m not particularly sad about this girl (and boyfriend) moving out?

Sorry guys and girls. I guess I needed to vent more than I realised, I’ll try to leave my frustrations on the doormat now and move on.