I feel like the last time I spoke of nerves here it was also about an upcoming weekend (read here). It’s similar this time. People from the club I go to, but this time around 30, are going away for the weekend.
It’s a good social event, and we’re just staying at a camp house we’ve rented. There’s gonna be games, lots of talking, probably singing and some bible studying. But that’s not the thing at all.. the thing is I’m nervous! So nervous.
And my anxiety is growing higher by the hour. It’s getting to the point of being a massive elephant sitting on top of me. I feel like crying already and I’m not going for another 18 hours or so.
The fact is – I am 90% sure – it is gonna be a great weekend. And a good experience for us all and we will probably be better friends after these days together. But I’m not looking forward to it.
At least I’ve got transportation covered with a lift in a car both on the way there and back. Having that under control helps a bit – or at least, it would be a huge problem for me if it wasn’t.
I have done what I can. I am prepared. I know I have good people with me that I can trust. I just need to get through my nerves, anxiety and general need to stay home and convince myself that I can do it and that I will be happier after.
“What would you attempt to do, if you knew you could not fail?”
This, or something like this, was said by Robert H. Schuller. I can’t really tell you who he is, or was. I can’t tell you in what context the quote is taken from either.
But I can tell you what I will be using it for. I will try thing, that I usually wouldn’t try. I can take chances myself that I wouldn’t usually take – and instead of being overpowered by the realism of everyday thinking, I will allow myself to dream – and to live out the dream, the start of it anyway. In this case in particular, it will mean that Im starting this blog in the hopes of it becoming something big. Something big to me.
I’m not talking about something big in the world. It is not my goal to become world famous or rule the internet. But if this blog can be anything good for me, then it’s worth trying. And if it by any chance can become something that’s interesting for others to read, then that’s worth something too!
It’s not that I can’t fail. I totally can. But if I fail, so what?! The opportunity that I might fail, wont hold me back today!
What will I attempt to do, knowing I wont fail? I don’t know. But I wanna find out!