lyrics

When lyrics express your thoughts better than you ever could yourself

It is often hard to express my own feelings – and then once in a while I am almost overwhelmed with how well another person has already done it. Sia created this song around 15 years ago now, and I am sure I am not alone in feeling like she’s read my mind before the thoughts even existed.

“Breathe Me”

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And the worst part is there’s no one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch, I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah, I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

(Lyrics from Breathe Me by Sia)
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Breaking down in tears

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I did it, I broke down in tears in the middle of our group. And I don’t care. I felt safe and loved and no one were judging me.

It was a song that triggered my feelings. It is in danish, but the main content of it – what made the tears well up is something along the lines of this:

Now you are simply allowed to be my child, not my servant.
Now, be little – not adult.
No one makes demands from you. No one judges you.
You are allowed to be weak, let go of all responsibility.
The danger is, that you’ll forget how much of a jewell you are.
That you think too much about the sorrow and need of others, instead of your own.

Now, you can listen instead of talking.
You can just receive, and not always give.
You are allowed to cry – and to share your pain.
You will be held and you will feel our peace.

I ended up curling up in my seat and felt the tears spill over.
A friend next to me laid her arm around me and hugged me. We didn’t speak. People sang, she sang. I just cried. I cried and listened.

I let the words fill my heart and my body. I tried to let go and just.. just be. Just listen. Just take what was given me.

Afterwards I felt lighter. I felt relived. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and it felt good.
As bad as it can be breaking down, the feeling after is worth it all to me.

I just hope I can hold onto this feeling for a while now. I will try to believe the good things.

I smiled and tried to mean it

Sometimes you come over a song, a poem or an article. Anything that makes you stop and think, you relate. You believe this person can see right into your soul and has written this about you. Or maybe instead you feel like this person has taken your thoughts and put them into words that you could not form yourself.

Something that did that for me is the song Any Other World by the artist Mika.

The lyrics that made me stop and think at first were these:

I tried to live alone
But lonely is so lonely, alone
So human as I am
I had to give up my defences

So I smiled and tried to mean it
To let myself let go

(more…)

Heavy anxiety today

It’s too much.

It’s a pit in my stomach.
It’s the tears in my eyes.
It’s the way my breath only barely reaches my chest.
It’s the slight shiver of my hands.

It’s the way I can’t see past myself.
It’s the dizziness I feel when thinking about getting up.
It’s the longing to hide.
It’s the doubt I feel inside.

It’s how every sound scares me.
It’s how I wish the world was gone.
It’s how I wish that I was gone.

It’s not enough.