I am so happy to say that as of now, I should be back to my regular life again.
Which means, I will be blogging again!
I stayed eleven days at a hospital – and previously had a few weeks of pain where I couldn’t focus and couldn’t live normally, but now I should be back and ready to get my life back to what it was – or even better.
My energy levels are low, but have gone way up – and since I’m no longer in pain, I am finally able to see past it. I’ve never been in so much pain before, for anyone asking, gallstones leading to an infected pancreas is no joke! Honestly, it’s actually deadly for some – however, I was one of the 85% that seemingly gets through the sickness without troubles. I am so thankful for that!
Now it’s just small steps back to normal life, small steps to get my body used to not getting morphine and small steps to get my exercise levels up. Seriously.. while at the hospital, walking 200 meters was hard!
One of those days where acting like a proper grown up is just too much. Actually I should say a few of those days. Cause I’ve had more than once this week.
I’ve pretty much cancelled everything that I’d planned to do this week in favour for staying home alone with my computer. It has become a pattern to me.
I’m binge watching Friends. I’m constantly checking facebook and instagram. I’m checking the news and the sports section. I’m going through all my youtube subscriptions. I’m wasting time. I am hiding.
There’s nothing new in that. In fact, it’s a bit too well-known for me. But it’s okay. I’m letting myself feel okay about it.
I have reasons. Yes I do. I need to remind myself of that. I’m not weak for staying home. I’m taking a look at what I need and what I’m capable of in that moment and I’m acting on it.
Later I will be stronger and I’ll go through with my plans, but this week it’s okay to stay home. I’ll be stronger soon. That’s the hope anyway.