health

First post of 2018

You know that feeling, when you have something you want to do, but somehow you’re building it up in your head, preparing for it, studying it.. ultimately building it up so much that the pressure of doing it, makes you avoid it?

Yeah. That’s how I feel about my lifestyle change right now – or weight loss journey.

I started around April 2016. I started from 103 kgs and actually managed to come down to 88 kgs in a healthy way. But.. then came a hard time with sickness, a hospital stay and a loss of energy after the sickness period that took months to recover from. Mixed with that was also a general lack of energy to focus on this as I also struggled with my mental health, battling anxiety and depression at the same time. And also, I hate to admit, I became lazy.

The result of that was that I slowly gained weight again, and now, January 2018 I am back at 100 kgs. I have a desire to lose the weight again – I need to cause I do have that dental surgery in a year or two, but I still cant focus on it properly. I recently went through my storage of food and sent all the unhealthy stuff to my mum and sister. It does help a bit, but I just go buy stuff when I want it. At least though, I’m buying a little bit at the time and not a huge bag of candy that I then finish.

I know the ins and outs of weight loss, but it’s so hard to start again. I remember thinking that it wasn’t so hard once I was up and going. I had it easier saying no to candy and limiting my portion sizes and generally eating healthier, but right now it just seems like a huge step.

It’s built up in my head. I have built it up.

In fact I know what I should be doing. I should make a plan.

Look at my old meal plan and make a plan for the next few days. Not a general plan but a precise plan of what I’m going to eat during the next couple of days. I think I can manage that. If not, I’ll go back and see what else I can try.

Here’s to trying! 

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Journey towards a better health!

“That is what is going to get me back to the gym. It is not the dream that some day I might be buff or all skinny – it is the smile on my face from the pride that I take from it. From the fact that I, the fat loner girl, can take a step towards even better things, just from going to the gym once more.”

In some of my previous posts I’ve mentioned my weight loss journey – it’s still going on.

The point of my journey is not to become totally fit or buff and show off a ton of muscles. It’s much more down to earth. Much more simple.

I want to be healthy.

Since I’ve started I’ve become healthier and that’s going in the right direction. Sadly, I’ve been challenged a lot in 2017 with different things so far and it has affected my ability to focus on my lifestyle. I have become more lazy with my food and I have not had the extra energy to do the exercise I wish I did.

These last few weeks I wont even say that I’ve lived healthier than I did a year ago, but the thing is – the great thing – is that it’s not the norm anymore. These last few weeks have been abnormal compared to how I live now. Burgers and fries aren’t a part of a usual week for me anymore! That’s a victory!

Honestly, this is the first time I’ve put this perspective on myself and how I live – and it just might be the way to get me back on track. I slipped up. I did. But the only terrible thing about that would be if that slip up kept me away from going back on track. Cause I was on the way towards something really good!

Healthy might not be right around the corner, but I’m so much closer than I was a year ago and that’s amazing. It’s not always about how far you’ve got to go, but how far you’ve already come. How far I have come.

That is what is going to get me back to the gym. It is not the dream that some day I might be buff or all skinny – it is the smile on my face from the pride that I take from it. From the fact that I, the fat loner girl, can take a step towards even better things, just from going to the gym once more.

 

Getting back into the healthy routine

After getting two surgeries done in 2017 – and now almost done with the pains after them, it’s time for me to get back into the healthy lifestyle I had going for fall 2016.

This is a list for myself, and I thought I would share it with you:

  1. Go to the gym again (at least twice a week)
  2. Weigh myself once a week
  3. Eat 1600 kcal each day (plus my 700 extra each week)
  4. Go on a daily walk

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What I’m working on

The way my mind works, I feel like my focus is split in groups of stuff that takes up lots of space in my mind:

  • Getting more exercise
  • Eating healthier (and the right amount)
  • To be more social
  • Work on my mental health
  • Fixing my teeth (surgery and stuff)

It seems I can only focus on two at the same time. Right now, and for the last month my focus has been to get more exercise and to be more social. And I’ve been doing a good job at both. That being said, every time I try to focus on one of the other groups I fail miserably. Right now I can feel my focus moving from getting exercise to my teeth. It makes sense, cause my surgery is on Friday.

I think it actually makes sense that two of these is enough to occupy my mind, but it still annoys me. Cause the world doesn’t just stand still in order for me to get my act together on all of these. It goes on! And I’m only going slow. It feels like a failure sometimes. Thankfully, at other times I’m able to focus on the victories I get instead – and those are the best times.

I guess I should just be patient with myself and allow that I can’t do it all at once. Nobody can. And then accept that I choose what I focus on for now, and then actually try to make some of those a habit so that it’ll take less energy and maybe that way I’ll be able to excel in more areas. Let’s hope so!

Weight loss journey #4 – From minus 5 to minus 10 kilos!

How youtube videos can help! And how great the double digits felt!

Going from having lost 5 kgs to reaching the magical double digits was an amazing feeling! It felt even better than the first five. In a way, it made me want to calculate in punds – since it would double the numbers (1 kgs is around 2,2 pounds). But it would not feel right to me since everyone in Denmark always use the kilos instead, and I don’t think it would trick my mind as much as just confuse me.

I reached the minus 10 kgs in October 2016. The way I’d done it was (more…)

Where’s the joy in working out?

My questions is as simple as that. How do you find joy in working out? – cause right now I can’t seem to find it. I do feel proud when going home, but going – and staying there and doing the work is a terrible chore for me.

I know working out isn’t a joy for everyone, but I would like to know how it is for you, and how you motivate yourself – and how you find joy in the workout?

Any help is appreciated.

First proper workout in 2017!

Finally it happened! I’ve had good reasons for not going to the gym yet, but the last 8-10 days I’ve actually been ready to go again, and yet I haven’t actually gone. Until today.

I feel so proud of myself. Originally I was gonna go tomorrow with my sister, but I was just kinda in the mood today, so I made myself get my ass out of here. And guys, it feels so good sitting at home now, knowing I’ve done it.

I worked out for an hour – and even though I wasn’t really feeling it after the first half hour I kept going. I’m not the type of person who actually enjoys the workout a ton while doing it, but once I’m done I always feel proud of myself. Actually, today is the first time I did a pre-set program on the treadmill – I’ve aways been too scared to do that. But I did it! I could handle it and I finished the 30 minutes it lasted!!

It’s hard to go out with my anxiety – especially this time, cause at christmas the center had a remodelling so everything was different. I didn’t like walking around and not finding the usual machines, and not knowing the settings on the new ones. But I went with baby steps and took my time. I didn’t pressure myself and I tried not to care if anyone were watching me and seeing that I did things wrong.