common sense

Feelings fighting knowledge

So.. no idea how to start this really. I might not even know what the conclusion for this will be.

It starts with how tomorrow I have an appointment at the hospital to talk about my future teeth-surgery-plan. I’ve been there several times, at least 3 times this year alone. And it is just a conversation. No doctors touching me or taking tests or anything that might hurt or otherwise do anything to me. Just talking. But I can still feel something building in my stomach. A feeling. An uncomfortable knot starting to take form.

In my mind I know everything will be fine. I’ve taken the buss I’m going to take several times. I have it all before. And yet, my stomach is fighting my mind. My feelings are fighting my knowledge.

I feel nervous. I can sense that I will continue to feel more nervous as we grow closer to the appointment. I feel like I will have trouble falling asleep, I wont even want to go to bed cause I know that in bed I will feel even more nervous. At least while awake I can distract myself a bit. I’m already nervous and I can only see it getting worse.

Except. I’ve got nothing to be nervous about. I know that. I really know that. Except it doesn’t feel like I do.

What do I do? My normal nerves are worsened by my anxiety, and that makes it even harder to trust my brain. I hope I get through this, cancelling would be terrible.