Photography

Feelings fighting knowledge

So.. no idea how to start this really. I might not even know what the conclusion for this will be.

It starts with how tomorrow I have an appointment at the hospital to talk about my future teeth-surgery-plan. I’ve been there several times, at least 3 times this year alone. And it is just a conversation. No doctors touching me or taking tests or anything that might hurt or otherwise do anything to me. Just talking. But I can still feel something building in my stomach. A feeling. An uncomfortable knot starting to take form.

In my mind I know everything will be fine. I’ve taken the buss I’m going to take several times. I have it all before. And yet, my stomach is fighting my mind. My feelings are fighting my knowledge.

I feel nervous. I can sense that I will continue to feel more nervous as we grow closer to the appointment. I feel like I will have trouble falling asleep, I wont even want to go to bed cause I know that in bed I will feel even more nervous. At least while awake I can distract myself a bit. I’m already nervous and I can only see it getting worse.

Except. I’ve got nothing to be nervous about. I know that. I really know that. Except it doesn’t feel like I do.

What do I do? My normal nerves are worsened by my anxiety, and that makes it even harder to trust my brain. I hope I get through this, cancelling would be terrible.

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Little bit of homemade art

Honestly, I really have had a nice day today. I’ve been productive and mostly in a good mood. I’ve done stuff. I’ve been outside. I went on walks. I ate real food.

Generally I’ve had a good day – and it’s been too long since that happened last time.

I picked up this flower on my way home from one of the walks and I really love taking photos of flowers. And today I felt inspired to do some editing. I’ve never edited this way before, but I really enjoyed it. Maybe in time I’ll find something worthy of being framed and put onto the wall. Maybe.

It doesn’t really matter. Today I’m just happy I’ve felt good. Already looking forward to that happening again.

Enjoying editing

IMG_0529 kopi

Photos: LifeOfAChickpea

I’m just playing around a bit tonight. The music is playing calmly, my room is looking clean and I’m sitting under a blanket on the sofa and editing some photos in ways I haven’t before and I just thought I would show you part of what I’m doing.

This is one way I enjoy spending my time – and maybe next time I forget I will be able to find this again and remember.

This weeks photo challenge was “A Good Match“. For me it was the contrast of the colours. And even the part of the giraffe. Top and bottom. Black and white.

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A little bit of positivity

I’m once again doing a small collage here, and I will repeat what I said last time:

I know photos is one way of affecting my brain and my way of thinking. I hope that this can work for others besides me, but the idea is that photos can bring good thoughts to you and lead positivity through your mind instead of misery and hopelessness.

Disclaimer: Photos found on tumblr years ago, not mine. 

 

Something that brings me joy

Something I missed loads while being at the hospital for nearly two weeks. Family and friends were able to visit, but this.. no. There wasn’t any of this beautiful nature.

I don’t know what it is exactly, but it just fills me with hope and joy when I see stuff like this. I can feel the sun kiss my skin, I can feel the touch of the flowers and fresh leaves on my fingers and I can smell the fresh air.

Disclaimer: Photos/Gifs found on tumblr a while ago. 

Freedom in flying

Sometimes I dream. I dream a lot actually. Good and bad, terrifying nightmares and perfectly happy amazing dreams.

When I look at this picture I feel like I might be dreaming. Dreaming of freedom.
Freedom from my mind and all the bad stuff.

There is nothing bad in this photo. It’s just… it’s hopeful. I don’t know if anyone else share that feeling, but that is what I get from looking at it.

The photo isn’t mine. I found it on tumblr a long time ago while searching for something random. But since I’ve looked at it many times. For a long time I even had it hanging on my closet along with a bunch of other photos.

I can’t  explain it, but there’s no need. Collect all the things that make you feel hopeful and happy. Keep them to yourself or share them, but most importantly, don’t let anyone take them away from you and say that it’s wrong. tumblr_lrj8amBQCx1qdusdao1_500.jpg

Forcing optimism upon myself

I’m not sure about the title for this post, but it was the best I could do right now do describe what I’m trying to do with this collage.

I know photos is one way of affecting my brain and my way of thinking. I hope that this can work for others besides me, but the idea is that photos can bring good thoughts to you and lead positivity through your mind instead of misery and hopelessness.

These pictures scream spring to me. They’re happy and they light up everything around them. It’s a miniature mood board, designed to lift your, and my, mood. It might not be much, but even a little bit is a victory.

Disclaimer: Photos found on tumblr years ago, not mine. 

Casting light on what’s beautiful

There’s even beauty in the dead flowers. Maybe there’s beauty in me too then.

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My brother-in-law has borrowed my camera, so this sudden burst of inspiration only came out through the lens of my phone. I still like it. It’s details. It’s colour and light.

Wish I had a background..

Favourite place, part two

IMG_2295.JPGBornholm, Denmark. Fall. (Photocredit: lifeofachickpea)

Last time I told you about this place I didn’t tell you everything about why I like it so much. But here goes part two.

The photo sort of says it all. It’s a place where two very different forests meet. There’s a clear line between them, and it’s filled with contrast.
One is bright, free and happy while the other is dark, closed and impossible to enter.

It’s almost like good and bad, side by side, so close to each other, but so different that they’ll never unite.
The contrast. Black and white. Good and bad. Bright and dark.

I like seeing it like that. They’re beautiful in each their own way, and together even more maybe. It makes me think, but it also brings me closure in some way. I can’t even explain. Maybe some of you feel the same and can explain it to me?

I don’t need to fully know why I like it so much. I just do. I appreciate it and I never forget it.