First post of 2018

You know that feeling, when you have something you want to do, but somehow you’re building it up in your head, preparing for it, studying it.. ultimately building it up so much that the pressure of doing it, makes you avoid it?

Yeah. That’s how I feel about my lifestyle change right now – or weight loss journey.

I started around April 2016. I started from 103 kgs and actually managed to come down to 88 kgs in a healthy way. But.. then came a hard time with sickness, a hospital stay and a loss of energy after the sickness period that took months to recover from. Mixed with that was also a general lack of energy to focus on this as I also struggled with my mental health, battling anxiety and depression at the same time. And also, I hate to admit, I became lazy.

The result of that was that I slowly gained weight again, and now, January 2018 I am back at 100 kgs. I have a desire to lose the weight again – I need to cause I do have that dental surgery in a year or two, but I still cant focus on it properly. I recently went through my storage of food and sent all the unhealthy stuff to my mum and sister. It does help a bit, but I just go buy stuff when I want it. At least though, I’m buying a little bit at the time and not a huge bag of candy that I then finish.

I know the ins and outs of weight loss, but it’s so hard to start again. I remember thinking that it wasn’t so hard once I was up and going. I had it easier saying no to candy and limiting my portion sizes and generally eating healthier, but right now it just seems like a huge step.

It’s built up in my head. I have built it up.

In fact I know what I should be doing. I should make a plan.

Look at my old meal plan and make a plan for the next few days. Not a general plan but a precise plan of what I’m going to eat during the next couple of days. I think I can manage that. If not, I’ll go back and see what else I can try.

Here’s to trying! 

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